Weight & love........

I was thinking I’m very meticulous about my grooming, my clothing and how I present myself to the world. I always look well turned out.


Now in my mind I feel hideous I never quite feel just right........


As you ever so slowly but quietly pile on the pounds and they melt on round your waist, stomach and thighs you slowly begin to hate yourself – because you get angry.


Some fabulous dress which once made you feel and look like a million dollars now no longer fits or hangs wrong and makes you conscious of those silent pounds which have crept on.


So as you haven’t noticed them at first you don’t get a serious grip plus you’re busy and the feeling of one more Mr Kipling fondant fancy will not kill you........ But it is it’s killing yourself confidence your self esteem.


This is where the spiral of despair comes in because YOU start to fall out of love with YOU – no one else does it’s just you and then one more fondant fancy as your already fat isn’t going to bust your pants or frock and it’s only a mouthful. But one mouth full turns into four and then five.


So the vows start next week I’ll get a grip and I’ll sort this out once and for all – but you don’t one day of some strange dramatic weight loss diet is blown to smithereens because you have to have lunch out due to work or you have to go to a cocktail party. So by day two the diet is blown and then you just think sod it and blow out until you have to squeeze into something or you’re on the bed surrounded by discarded clothes and shoes crying because you’ve nothing to wear.




So you keelhaul your tubby frame into an outfit and pull yourself together and off you go but feeling more and more angry with yourself.


So what makes you turn round and think I must love myself again and stop this angry eating.